The problems that
plague many children of alcoholics remain invisible because their coping
behavior tends to be approval seeking and socially acceptable. However, a
disproportionate number of those entering the juvenile justice system, courts,
prison, and mental health facilities, and those referred to school authorities
are CoA's.
As a Matter of Fact:
- An estimated 28 million Americans have at least
one alcoholic parent.
- Approximately one-half of all alcoholics have an
alcoholic parent.
- One of three families currently reports alcohol
abuse by a family member.
- Children of alcoholic parents demonstrate an
unusually high risk of becoming alcoholic themselves or of marrying someone who
is or who will become an alcoholic.
- In up to 90 percent of child abuse cases, alcohol
is a significant factor.
- Children of alcoholics (CoA's) are frequently the
victims of incest, child neglect, and other forms of violence and exploitation.
- CoA';s often adapt to the chaos and inconsistency
of an alcoholic home by developing an inability to trust, an extreme need to
control, excessive sense of responsibility, and denial of feelings all of which
result in low self-esteem, depression, isolation, guilt, and difficulty
maintaining satisfying relationships. These and other problems persist or
exacerbate throughout adulthood.
- Children of alcoholics are apt to experience a
range of psychological difficulties, including learning disabilities,
anxieties, attempted/completed suicides, eating disorders, or compulsive
achieving/failing.
Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA's):
- Guess at what normal is.
- Become isolated and afraid of other people,
especially authority figures.
- Tend to judge themselves harshly and consequently
suffer feelings of low self-worth.
- Have difficulty acting; they more often react to
others. Often are dependent and fear abandonment.
- Become alcoholic, marry alcoholics, or do both or
they tend to find some other compulsion, such as work, eating, gambling.
- Frequently become "addicted" to excitement after
having lived for many years in a traumatic and sometimes dangerous family soap
opera.
- Tend to confuse love with pity, and often "love"
those whom they can rescue or pity.
- Feel responsible for their unstable families and
have difficulty living independently.
- Frequently suffer guilt feelings if they consider
their needs rather than the needs of others.
- Become approval-seekers, losing their identity in
the process.
- Tend to deny or repress the feelings of their
traumatized childhood which separates them from all feelings, making it
difficult or impossible to recognize/accept adults.
- Are sometimes unable to separate truth from
fiction in their lives.
Source: National Association for Children of
Alcoholics, "Charter Statement"; by Janet Woititz, Laundry List for Adult
Children of Alcoholics |
